Dear Betty and Barb,
I live in MN and am 65 years old, my life partner is 72 years old. We have been a couple for 43 years this Oct 22nd. As of today we are NOT married. I have asked him before and even had two rings made for the occasion but he just laughed and walked away.
All of our possessions are in both names and all is good with our home life but he just doesn’t see a reason.
My reason for getting married is, at this point, crossing all the T’s and dotting all the I’s, what if we missed something. Also, yes we love each other, and yes all the family members that are still alive know about our life styles.
I just am tired of saying “Life Partner”, I would rather say “My Husband”.
So I ask you, do you think it is important to get married or stay single or should I just leave his ass and find a different man at this point!
Looking forward to hearing your advice.
Sincerely,
Gay and Unmarried
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BETTY: I envy you. You found someone you loved, and you have been together 43 years. And, you're simply of a different opinion. Marriage is important to you, it isn't to him. You need to go through your papers again, make sure you cross all those T's and dot all those I's so that you guys will be taken care of if one or the other passes away. No, you don't need to find another man. You were lucky to find the one you have. And he just doesn't believe in marriage, and it's just a piece of paper.
BARB: It sounds like you have a good partner if you have been together 43 years. Love is important. More important than a piece of paper saying you are married. If he doesn't want to follow through, and it's just something you want to do, maybe, without taking legal actions, would you have a little ceremony, from your religious leader, in your living room? Would he admit to doing that? That would make you feel better, then you could tell your friends, "well we got married Monday night in the living room!"
